Harry Potter Book Titles We'd Like To See

Upon reflection with my friends Michael and Liesl Downey that the last Harry Potter book ("Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows") has a rather disappointing name:

Harry Potter and the Apocalypse

Harry Potter and the Bearded Lizard.... Dragon

Harry Potter and the Tumbly Wumbly Snazzleberry

Harry Potter and Boobs

Harry Potter BOOZE!

Harry Potter and the Itemized Deduction Form 7-B

Harry Potter and a Pound of Bacon

Harry Potter and the Weapons of Mass Destruction

Harry Potter and a Cobra Wrapped Around a Budweiser

Harry Potter and the Lost Luggage

Harry Potter and the Plan of Salvation

Harry Potter on a Hot Tin Roof

Harry Potter and the Missing Prostate

Harry Potter Go To Space!

Harry Potter and the Cat

Harry Potter and the World AIDS Crisis

Comments

Anonymous said…

Harry Potter and the You'll Buy This Book No Matter What We Call It

4/02/2007 10:50 PM

The Only Thing We Have to Fear...

It's October, which means not only do I get to start dipping into my nifty fall wardrobe but also that Halloween is upon us. I think its great that we devote specific holidays to various basic emotions of the human psyche. Halloween = fear, Valentine's day = love, Thanksgiving = gratitude, St. Patrick's Day = envy, and Christmas = greed. We're just missing wrath, lust, pride, sloth, gluttony, and inadequecy. Clearly, more holidays are necessary. But that's a subject for another day. We don't want to give Halloween less than its due. Because seriously, how cool is Halloween? Its way off the scale on the cool-o-meter. When else can you see even the most pious and sensible people indulging in a little of the supernatural and occult by dressing up their children as vampires, witches, or ghosts? Well, that's how it was back in my day anyway (which was soooooo long ago), but today kids dress up as Jedi, princesses, Harry Potter, or Spiderman. They are totally miss...

Telephonophobia

I'm afraid of telephones. Let me clarify: I’m not particularly afraid of the actual physical devices themselves, but of having to use them. It’s been like that as long as I can remember. I get this knot in my stomach every time a phone rings, even if its not my phone or somebody else answers it. I can't stand to pick up the phone, or have a conversation on it for longer than five minutes, and don't even ask me to call somebody I don't know or haven't called before. I can’t, I freeze up. My friends and acquaintances are confused to learn that, despite the fact that I can talk your ear off if we are having a conversation in person, I’m generally monosyllabic on the phone and have to be coaxed to talk at any length. So the phone and I have a troubled relationship, but that hasn’t stopped it from creeping up into all aspects of my life, no matter where I go. In high school there was even a phone in my bedroom, though I never used it. It was connected to the ph...

Number 1

Deranged Ramblings

Search This Blog