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The Only Thing We Have to Fear...

It's October, which means not only do I get to start dipping into my nifty fall wardrobe but also that Halloween is upon us. I think its great that we devote specific holidays to various basic emotions of the human psyche. Halloween = fear, Valentine's day = love, Thanksgiving = gratitude, St. Patrick's Day = envy, and Christmas = greed. We're just missing wrath, lust, pride, sloth, gluttony, and inadequecy. Clearly, more holidays are necessary. But that's a subject for another day. We don't want to give Halloween less than its due.

Because seriously, how cool is Halloween? Its way off the scale on the cool-o-meter. When else can you see even the most pious and sensible people indulging in a little of the supernatural and occult by dressing up their children as vampires, witches, or ghosts? Well, that's how it was back in my day anyway (which was soooooo long ago), but today kids dress up as Jedi, princesses, Harry Potter, or Spiderman. They are totally missing the point! The whole costume tradition started when a group of highly superstitious and paranoid people (inspired by their leader, a man named Rush Limbaugh) thought that by dressing up in scary or intimidating outfits they could scare away evil spirits, sort of like reverse psychology. They hoped that the ghosts would see them and think "Ah! A ghost!" and run away in a marvelous post-modern-esque reversal of roles. But thats clearly not going to work these days! What self-respecting evil spirit would flee from six-year old Sally in her Princess Buttercup get-up? He'd be the laughing stock of the evil spirit community! Everywhere he'd go, other evil spirits would say, "Watch out, Bob, there's a princess behind you, and boy does she look like a mean one!" and he'd say, "Yeah, yeah, enough already! It was two-hundred years ago for crying out loud!" But I digress.

Even if costumes have gotten a little less intimidating, the Halloween festivities still include plenty of dark and creepy stuff. One local tradition involves going on fun and safe group dates at haunted woods or houses where people in costumes jump out and try to scare you. I think this just shows that people like to be scared, within certain limits. There is a sort of thrill of adrenalin when you are freaked out. Plus, I'm pretty sure the reason those haunted places are so popular for dates is so that you have a reason to cling on to each other and cuddle up close. I know thats why I go! Oh wait, I never go.... Ok, I know thats why various friends and acquaintances of mine go! You know who you are... perverts.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot of frightening things lately because I've been given the assignment to write a scary story for my semi-regular writing group, and I'm a bit worried because I've never tried to write anything like that before. So I'm trying to analyze what is scary so that I can use it in the story. Consequently, I'm very interested in not only why people are afraid, but also what things exactly they fear. My friend Chris is terrified of snakes and of somebody grabbing his butt while he walks up stairs. My mother fears her eldest son will never give her grandchildren. My roommate fears that he might not actually be perfect. As for me, I think what I fear most is the unknown. It used to be the thought of being alone the rest of my life, but I got over that one. Now, its the unknown. The times I've been most scared is when I didn't know exactly what there was to be scared of, when my own imagination made the terror for me.

At scout camp one summer, our troop was taken out into the wild where we gathered around a fire and were told some scary story about a ghost or something like that. The location that this story had supposedly taken place was nearby, and we were challenged to find our way there one at a time and fetch a white feather (which was somehow relevant to the story) to prove our manhood and courage. Sounded like a piece of cake to me. I was a fairly rational and intelligent child (I was! Stop laughing, Mom) so I knew that it was just a story and that there was nothing to be afraid of. However, once I got out into the woods on my own, I remembered that I was also a fairly emotional and dramatic child. All around me was the quiet darkness of the wilderness; I could hear nothing but my own footsteps. The darkness is a blank canvas for the imagination; it gives you nothing to judge your situation with, nothing to build upon or understand. It's emptiness, hiding something but revealing nothing, is what got to me the most. In these sort of situations, I've often had the chilling sensation that I was being followed or pursued or watched, and I felt this then. I found my way to the little house that was haunted, according to the tale, and saw the feathers that were my goal. I stopped about fifty yards away, staring intently at the dim shape for any sign of danger. I could see very little, so imagination began to fill in the blanks with terrifying results. Fear gripped my tiny heart and I felt I could not take another step further. Where I was standing was fine, but the next step into the darkness leading who knows where was impossible. It wasn't what I could see, but what I couldn't that scared me. I have always been inclined to bear those ills I have than fly to others I know not of. Luckily, I found a feather on the ground where I was, so I was saved having to enter the building itself. I ran like a crazy man until I was just within sight of the campfire, at which point I walked suavely and unruffled into camp holding my feather and boasting about how easy the task had been. My feather was small and dirty though, not long and pure white like the ones my friends brought back, so I think it had to be obvious I had chickened out. Serves me right.

So what I want to know is this: what scares you? I'm conducting a little poll. I know there are lots of people who read my blog regularly but who never ever post a comment. Here's your chance, I'm begging you. Everybody who reads this must post a short comment telling me what scares them. You can make it anonymous if you like, and I promise not to tease you. It's very good for the soul to confess what terrifies you. Its called naming your fear. Clearly identifying what scares you is a good step in overcoming it. Or, if thats too uncomfortable, tell me what movie or book or whatever really gave you the goosebumps. I'm just curious. So go on and do it. And I mean everybody!

Comments

eleka nahmen said…
But your roomate IS perfect..

Well, right now I'm afraid of the honor code office. Also, everybody tells me that I'm likewise afraid of rejection :)
Anonymous said…
You pretty much got my fear dead-on. IF my eldest would just obey!!!, then I could live a fearless and unafraid life!
Mom
Anonymous said…
Bekah says mice and anyone jumping out at her scares her, but those whole truely know her,know that just about ANYTHING makes her afraid.
FoxyJ said…
I am actually really scared of falling off things, and not even just high places. When I was on my mission I never got over my fear of getting too close to the edge of the subway platform because I was always afraid I would go over the edge. And then a train would come and I wouldn't have time to climb back up...
Anonymous said…
Hmm. I agree with the costumey thing. Although, it is fun to dress as non-scary things as well. Thanks for reminding... I need to figure out my costume for this year. Got you blog address from Laura tonight. If you're interested, mine is:
http://spaces.msn.com/members/stagirlsayjsstage/
Tata, Say Jay
Anonymous said…
Holidays can double up, don't you think? So Thanksgiving is clearly both gratitude and gluttony. And St. Valentines is love and lust. We could claim St. Patty's for Irish Pride but I think 4th of July takes the cake and the sin here. The new holiday of Patriot's Day (9/11) is a good possibility for wrath (against Islamists), though I think the Brits got it right with Guy Fawks there.
Isn't the very idea of a holiday a hat tip to Sloth? That really only leaves us with inadequecy. Veteran's Day perhaps, since you should be fighting for your nation? New Year's might be even better though because it shows you how little you've done all year.
What's really lacking is holidays for the virtues (notably chastity, moderation, humility, and zeal). That's what we need more days off for.

dai
Matt Haws said…
I couldn't agree more, Dai. After I finished the post I started thinking along those same lines. Just imagine what virtuous holidays would be like. Humilty="America is just one of many countries Day", Moderation = "Three Sensible Meals and Only One Half Hour of TV Day", and Chastity = "Everybody Refrain from Sex for Just ONE FREAKING DAY Day" and of course my favorite "Do That Thing You've Been Meaning to Do For Years Day." I think we may have hit on something here, Dai.
Anonymous said…
Me? I'm afraid that everyone in the entire world was created for someone else - their soulmate, true love, and fondest dream. And that there is an odd number of people and the only one without a match is me. Or that she's a redhead.
topher clark said…
So, yeah, snakes and people grabbing my butt. And don't forget people who play the saw! That scares the crap out of me.

PS. Republicans invented Halloween? You are such a killjoy.
Debra Darling said…
Walking alone on BYU campus at night FREAKS me out. Seriously...so many bushes, so many freaks staying up late to "study." Who does that anyways?

Okay, really it's just the dark. Like when you are walking around in a lit up house and the blinds are open. You can't see them (out in the dark) but those peepers sure enough can see you...mighty clear. And then I hurry and finish what I am doing and swiftly make my way back to a safe room. I guess I just feel exposed in those situations.
Star said…
-Going to class without a bra.
-Getting a fit of Tourettes during testimony meeting at the pulpit
-Foreigners speaking all too quickly
-Knives.
-Knives.
Knives.
Anonymous said…
Well I used to have a HUGE fear of getting struck by lightening...but now my biggest fear is being suffocated...or drowning...any sort of method involving cutting off the air flow. Yesh, that gives me the willy's just thinking about it!
Anonymous said…
Mom was right but I am also deathly scared of CLOWNS!! AHhh! just thinking about them gives me the hebeyjebeys!!

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