Skip to main content

A New Start

I recently moved into a house. This is quite a refreshing change from the cramped college housing I've grown used to over the last two and half years or so. The reason such a move is now possible is because, somehow, I have graduated and can live wherever I want. I began the work of settling in, and soon started having a few friends come over and see my new place.

Showing people around your new house or apartment has always seemed a bit silly to me. You lead them from room to room as if you were a tour guide at an English castle, throwing in bits of guide-like commentary from time to time. "This is the kitchen," you announce, as if you might have placed the fridge in the bedroom. Your friends nod and say something polite and complimentary. In their position, I never know what to say. "Well, the bathroom certainly appears functional," I'll say, forgetting that this isn't really the point of the exercise. I have the same problem when it comes time to congratulate people for having a baby. I mean, I suppose its a great accomplishment, but its hardly something that hasn't been done before. I don't really have any difficulty with the mothers, but you're expected to congratulate the father too, who didn't carry the baby or squeeze it slowly from his body. "Congratulations on successfully procreating!" I want to say to him, as if his part were difficult too. Of course, if pregnant mothers are half so difficult to deal with as I hear, maybe the guys do deserve some credit for surviving the gestation period at all.

Speaking of births, last week was my twenty-fourth birthday. Were I more considerate, I would have called and thanked my parents for successfully procreating me back in 1981, but somehow it slipped my mind. I did, however, receive some gifts and notes of appreciation from family and friends. Thanks, everybody. One letter, written by an aunt, who I adore and who shall remain anonymous, said, "Congratulations on your birthday and on graduating! They are both great accomplishments." Call me picky, but I couldn't really see, at first, how my birthday was supposed to be an accomplishment. It seemed to me like congratulating the father for the birth. My birthday wasn't really my accomplishment at all, I didn't really do anything. My mom did all the squeezing (and I love her for it). If anyone should get the credit, its her.

However, I have managed to stay alive for twenty-four years, and perhaps thats what my aunt was referring to. Is that what birthdays are, really? A celebration of your continued survival in this dangerous world? When we say "Happy Birthday" we are really saying, "We're so glad you're not dead yet!" or (for those in their later years of life), "We can't believe you're not dead yet!" Do we start to fear birthdays because we know they are finite, limited, numbered? Or do we look forward to them as a sign of another year's succesful existence? A birthday is a new start. You say, "OK, I made it this far. Lets try one more year." And you keep on doing that until one day you don't make it. If you're lucky, you'll succeed many many times before then, and reach a ripe, old, wise, and satisfied age. That, I think, would truly be an accomplishment worth celebrating. So, congratulations everybody. If you are reading this, you are still alive. Keep up the good work!

Comments

topher clark said…
I think you are right. I don't understand why old people are always bemoaning their birthdays. You are ALIVE!!!!! The odds are stacked against you, and you are BREATHING!!!!

Welcome to blogland, Matt. This is great.

Popular posts from this blog

I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent...

I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent. Though, despite the elaborate disguise Consisting of a single pair of bent, Simple specs, they're not two different guys But only one, still I said what I meant: I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent. I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent I guess because one of them's more like me And does not always get what he wants And struggles with our vulnerability. And does not by his perfection command The adoration of every woman and man But sits in the back, with nothing to say Just hoping that Lois Lane looks his way. She doesn't - her eyes are glued to the sky. Wake up, Lois! Can't you see the guy Waiting to love you with all of his might? He may not leap buildings, he may not fly, He may not see through you with x-ray eyes, He might need YOUR help, if that's alright, From time to time, when his mortal heart cries. He combs his hair neatly and fights through the crowd, Decides what to say, and rehearses out loud, He summons his ...

The Only Thing We Have to Fear...

It's October, which means not only do I get to start dipping into my nifty fall wardrobe but also that Halloween is upon us. I think its great that we devote specific holidays to various basic emotions of the human psyche. Halloween = fear, Valentine's day = love, Thanksgiving = gratitude, St. Patrick's Day = envy, and Christmas = greed. We're just missing wrath, lust, pride, sloth, gluttony, and inadequecy. Clearly, more holidays are necessary. But that's a subject for another day. We don't want to give Halloween less than its due. Because seriously, how cool is Halloween? Its way off the scale on the cool-o-meter. When else can you see even the most pious and sensible people indulging in a little of the supernatural and occult by dressing up their children as vampires, witches, or ghosts? Well, that's how it was back in my day anyway (which was soooooo long ago), but today kids dress up as Jedi, princesses, Harry Potter, or Spiderman. They are totally miss...

God Bless Us, Every One

Call me a Scrooge, but I've found that the last couple of years Christmas just hasn't carried the same sense of wonder and excitement it once did. When I was a kid, I was ready to pee my pants every day in December just thinking about the twenty-fifth, which crept closer so slowly that the month was always filled with blissfully tortuous anticipation. The sense of suspense, the agony of not knowing what the fantastically wrapped boxes contained, was only heightened by the lights, the music, the snow, and everything you knew meant it was Christmas time. Back then, my heart's desires cost about twenty bucks and, tragically, seemed both completely unobtainable and the key to my whole life's happiness. This was the season, then, when miracles of a very practical kind could happen; objects only admired on the shelf, or at a friend's, or in some abstract sense of obsession could literally become my own and wind up, eventually, in pieces somewhere in my closet. I like to c...