Xanadu or Xanadon't?

What is Xanadu? Boy, am I glad you asked! It's a place where nobody dares to go. Its “A Fantasy, A Musical, A Place Where Dreams Come True.” It defies definition and expectations. Its an experience unlike any other. Anybody who attended the wild and crazy Hamlet cast party last Saturday night would agree: its life-changing. Like they say in the song, “they needed the world to know they are in XANADU.”

In more mundane terms, Xanadu is a “movie” (I use the term loosely) made in 1980 starring Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly. It's difficult to accurately express what it is like. Its the most impossibly and fantastically bad movie ever made. I mean, some films are just bad and you watch them and you're merely bored or irritated. Its takes a rare moment of movie magic for all the bad elements to combine so perfectly to make something so thoroughly and thrillingly entertaining.


Olivia Newton-John (whats with TWO surnames anyway? Seems greedy) stars as Kira, a glowing, groovy, roller-skating bombshell of a Greek muse who uses her technicolor powers to bring hope and love back into the life of depressed artist Sonny Malone (“Ah, what the hell... guys like me shouldn't dream anyway.”) They meet the impossibly cheery and probably insane Danny McGuire, a has-been musician frittering away his final days playing the clarinet on the beach. Together, they open a new club - a choreographed, fully costumed, 40s meets the 80s paradise of roller skating / dancing called Xanadu. Magic ensues. Dreams are fulfilled. Hearts are touched, testimonies are strengthened. And something completely unexpected happens! Kira falls in love with Sonny, even though thats forbidden by Zeus, the god of neon lights. I totally didn't see that coming!

It's hard to say whats best about this movie. Is it the amazing costumes? The natural acting? The groovy ELO soundtrack (which is actually on my iPod)? Watching Olivia Newton-John try to dance? The sudden cuts from summer with people in swimsuits to fall with people in coats? The dancers in creepy and bizarre costumes bursting out of nowhere? The Don Bluth animation sequence where Sonny and Kira turn into a variety of different animals that still somehow possess 70s hair and leg warmers? The interesting and distinct supporting characters (the grumpy boss, the wormy sidekick, the chronically nervous female co-workers, the ethnically diverse muses)? Could it be the witty and complex dialogue?

Kira: Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse.
Sonny: Well, I'm glad someone's having a good time.
Kira: Oh, don't make jokes; I'm serious.


I can't imagine how anybody could watch this movie and NOT be entertained, but I know all too well that its possible. I was invited to bring a movie to a “bad movie night” hosted by a friend and attended my many people who I did not know. Having had such a wonderful experience on several occasions watching Xanadu, I brought it along. They hated it. We only made it about a third of the way through the movie, during which time nobody laughed and nobody enjoyed themselves. So I realized that there are certain things you must do in order to enjoy this movie fully:

1.Watch it with Chris Clark. His running commentary and complete mastery of all continuity problems in the film are guaranteed to keep you laughing. As an extra bonus, you'll get to hear his wife quip about how many times he's watched the blasted thing.

2.You must pretend that Danny McGuire (Gene Kelly) is in love with Sonny Malone and interpret all of his lines accordingly. It's adds oh so much to the experience.

3.You just have to watch it with somebody who has never seen it before. Their shock and disbelief that such a movie is even possible will greatly enhance your enjoyment.

4.Very important! You MUST watch certain scenes in slow-motion. Particularly when Kira takes a very quick sip from a glass of beer in the final sequence.

5.By all means, fast forward through Olivia's song when she's standing alone in Zeus-land, that mythical place brought to life in stunning special effects. Its really boring, and you know you can't wait until the climatic finale!

6.Knowing all the words to the good songs and singing along never hurt either!


The movie was supposed to be Olivia's big follow-up to Grease, but it bombed at the box office (even though some of the songs did well in the charts) and pretty much ruined her career. My parents say they vaguely remember seeing it when it came out and enjoying it somewhat. But that was a more innocent, less cynical age. Now we watch and mock and yet (how can I explain this?) we love the movie. Its so bad in all the right ways that our mocking and our laughing contains as much affection as disdain. But at least we recognize that its horrible, which is more than we can say for some people. Read this review:

What is there to hate about this movie, anyway?
8 out of 10 stars
Author: DallasPeggy from Texas
The first time I saw this movie, I was entranced. At the time, buying a copy of the movie was not an option, but I would have bought a copy if I could have. I spent many happy hours roller skating to the pulsing beats of the soundtrack. Later, I learned that the "critics" had panned it, and I was shocked. Well, what do THEY know, anyway? As ONJ said, in the movie, '…use your imagination.'

What is there to hate about this movie, anyway? ;) The movie contains: people following their dreams, roller skating (and roller dancing), love, the beauty of the California coast, talented artists (painters, musicians, actors, singers, dancers, etc.), a wide variety of cultural experiences, a sound track that is the ultimate in great music, energetic dancing in many different forms, vivid colors, interesting special effects, good-looking people, an upbeat and positive message, and a general appreciation for all forms of art. There's even something for the intellectual in the crowd - the mythical city of Xanadu, discussed in many cultures, was always a place of sparkling jewels, art and beauty. I admit that the acting could have been better. For that, I lowered the rating from a 10 to an 8. But, come on - it wasn't THAT bad.

To me, Xanadu is a piece of art to be appreciated. This is quite a fitting tribute to muses, when you think about it. Now that I own a copy, I will let the beauty of the art surround me whenever I enter the world of Xanadu.

Enough said. You tell 'em, Peggy!

A place
where nobody dared to go
the love that we came to know
They call it Xanadu

And now,
open your eyes and see
what we have made is real
We are in Xanadu