Skip to main content

My Blog and Other Disasters

I was recently informed that the name of my blog is somewhat misleading. While I certainly do ramble, a certain critic who shall remain nameless felt that these ramblings were not deranged. He is correct, I do show a staggering amount of logic and reason in each post considering my self-proclaimed intention of writing "Deranged Ramblings." In our post-modern world of media marketing, however, such a disparity is hardly uncommon, and so I think that my faithful readers (all three of you) will not have any problems if I continue in failing to deliver anything truly deranged. You will indulge me, I hope, in a little false advertising. That being said, if anybody, including the aforementioned critic, has a suggestion for a more apt and interesting title for the blog, I'm all ears.

In other news, the recent hurricane and its damage to the Gulf Coast has dominated the national media. I mention this for historical interest. One day I'll be able to look back at my blog and see what was going on in the world at the time I wrote this. The abundant footage on TV of Katrina's devastation have reminded me, and probably many of you, of the awesome power of the elements compared to the relatively limited abilities of man. Do you ever catch yourself feeling, as I sometimes do, that in this modern day and age its crazy that we should still be limited by the weather? After all, we can build microscopic robots and clone sheep, so why can't we keep it from raining on our proverbial parade? The problem is we get so impressed with our own technological developments and ingeniuity that we begin to get this idea that we are untouchable by outside forces. And yet here one natural disaster has nearly emptied a major American city. Stuff like this happens a lot in other places, like with the tsunami and all, but I think Americans don't really consider anything totally real unless it happens here. Were you worried about terrorism before 9/11? I wasn't, even though acts of terrorist violence have been around for a long time. But I digress.

My own personal experiences with the destructive power of mother nature are somewhat limited. But that doesn't mean you don't get to hear about them. When I was really young, my family lived in California and were in an earthquake. Thats hardly breaking news: earthquakes are part of the Californian lifestlye as much as trendy clothes, surfing, and multi-culturism. Its not even considered a big deal unless its like a 8 on the Richter scale. But for a little kid, its a pretty scary experience. My brother and I were playing in our room, pretending we were in a rock band. I think he was playing the drums, and I was singing. The building began to shake, as if suddenly our house was made of Jell-o, and we did what any sane little kid would do. We ran to mom. We were scared, but I think my mom got the worst shock of all of us. She was in the shower at the time, and had the unpleasant experience of realizing that if she were to die she would be found naked. Nobody wants to go like that.

Thats the worst I've ever been through, and it wasn't even a very bad earthquake. I lived in Nebraska for a few years and lived through some tornado alerts, but none ever actually happened. I've always been dramatic, with a penchant for playing the martyr, so every tornado warning seemed to me to be the beginning of the end. I remember watching the news as they covered the developing storm and thinking for sure that it was all over, I was going to die. I was all ready to hole up down in the basement with the washing machine and a flashlight as I listened to the building collapse above us, until the walls finally caved in and put us out of our misery. I held my brother close one time and told him in a scared whisper that we were going to die, but he was unimpressed. He seemed more interested in playing with the flashlight I had ready, and I couldn't get him to appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Of course, the tornado never actually formed, leaving me looking silly. Typical. But now I watch the scenes of chaos on the news and can't help thinking what we all think but are a bit embarrassed to admit: "Thank God.... Thank God its not me...." Of course we wish all those affected the best, and do what we can to help, but we can't help but feel glad that we are safe and sound.... until you realize that you live right next to a fault line and wonder with some dread when its going to be your turn...

Comments

topher clark said…
Matt - my wife is from Nebraska. Every time we used to visit Lincoln I held out hope for a big tornado. NEVER HAPPENED. I scanned for green sky every day. Total disappointment. What is the midwest good for if it can't produce a damn tornado?
Matt Haws said…
Don't you feel like "The Wizard of Oz" lied to you?? And the midwest isn't even in black and white! All the movies of my childhood deceived me... which would be an excellent subject for my next post.
FoxyJ said…
I served my mission in Madrid and I remember one morning while we were studying we felt/heard this really loud thump that shook all the windows in the apartment. It turns out that the Basques had blown up a car and a bus a short distance away from us. It was even a bus on a line that we took fairly regularly. When the bombings happened last year it was weird to see pictures and realize that I had been on those trains and in the same stations. Stuff like that doesn't feel real until it happens closer to home.
Anonymous said…
As possible names for your blog, how about "Penny Whore"? Wouldn't that be a little less misleading?
Matt Haws said…
"Penny Whore," besides being horribly inappropriate and how dare you my mother reads this blog, is also VERY misleading, Janky/Random Sample. I have SOME standards. I think "Five-Dollar Whore" would be much more appropriate, thank you very much.
Anonymous said…
YES, he's mother does read this, and yes I am appalled. I raised him to be worth much more than a penny or even 5 dollars. Thank you very much.
And yes, being caught in the shower during the earthquake, WAS the scarest thing I have ever lived through. I would die all over again, if I was to die naked.

Popular posts from this blog

I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent...

I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent. Though, despite the elaborate disguise Consisting of a single pair of bent, Simple specs, they're not two different guys But only one, still I said what I meant: I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent. I like Superman, but I love Clark Kent I guess because one of them's more like me And does not always get what he wants And struggles with our vulnerability. And does not by his perfection command The adoration of every woman and man But sits in the back, with nothing to say Just hoping that Lois Lane looks his way. She doesn't - her eyes are glued to the sky. Wake up, Lois! Can't you see the guy Waiting to love you with all of his might? He may not leap buildings, he may not fly, He may not see through you with x-ray eyes, He might need YOUR help, if that's alright, From time to time, when his mortal heart cries. He combs his hair neatly and fights through the crowd, Decides what to say, and rehearses out loud, He summons his ...

The Only Thing We Have to Fear...

It's October, which means not only do I get to start dipping into my nifty fall wardrobe but also that Halloween is upon us. I think its great that we devote specific holidays to various basic emotions of the human psyche. Halloween = fear, Valentine's day = love, Thanksgiving = gratitude, St. Patrick's Day = envy, and Christmas = greed. We're just missing wrath, lust, pride, sloth, gluttony, and inadequecy. Clearly, more holidays are necessary. But that's a subject for another day. We don't want to give Halloween less than its due. Because seriously, how cool is Halloween? Its way off the scale on the cool-o-meter. When else can you see even the most pious and sensible people indulging in a little of the supernatural and occult by dressing up their children as vampires, witches, or ghosts? Well, that's how it was back in my day anyway (which was soooooo long ago), but today kids dress up as Jedi, princesses, Harry Potter, or Spiderman. They are totally miss...

God Bless Us, Every One

Call me a Scrooge, but I've found that the last couple of years Christmas just hasn't carried the same sense of wonder and excitement it once did. When I was a kid, I was ready to pee my pants every day in December just thinking about the twenty-fifth, which crept closer so slowly that the month was always filled with blissfully tortuous anticipation. The sense of suspense, the agony of not knowing what the fantastically wrapped boxes contained, was only heightened by the lights, the music, the snow, and everything you knew meant it was Christmas time. Back then, my heart's desires cost about twenty bucks and, tragically, seemed both completely unobtainable and the key to my whole life's happiness. This was the season, then, when miracles of a very practical kind could happen; objects only admired on the shelf, or at a friend's, or in some abstract sense of obsession could literally become my own and wind up, eventually, in pieces somewhere in my closet. I like to c...