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A Confession

This is difficult for me, but there's something thats been weighing on me for the last few hours and I really need to get it off of my chest. Sometimes I am a compulsive liar. Lying comes as easy to me as eating and breathing, actually. I'm an actor. And sometimes I lie for no other reason but to lie, like I can't even help myself. Kind of like Natalie Portman in "Garden State," only I'm not as bad as her. But at least I have the decency to feel guilty for most of my lies, especially those that are so blatantly a lie and when I'm quite aware that everybody knows I'm lying. Then I feel like a jerk. So, lets have the truth:

Yes. It was me who farted in the van. I don't know why I didn't just confess, it would have been the proper and manly thing to do, but I just kept lying about it and I don't know why. I'm not particularly embarassed by the act itself - I think I may be lactose intolerant or something, and geez sometimes it just comes out and thats life. But for reasons beyond my comprehension I felt a near obsessive-compulsive urge to flatly deny it, even when everybody knew it was me. Please forgive me, my friends. I'm so ashamed... oh god, I need help.

Comments

topher clark said…
I know why you didn't confess: because now I will think about how gross that fart was EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU. But at least you were a man about it, eventually. Congrats!
9/21/2005 11:25 PM
Matt Haws said…
You're right. My reputation is scarred. I can never show my face in public again! Why don't you just get somebody ELSE to play Hamlet tonight, Chris, because I QUIT!
9/22/2005 9:46 AM
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