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The Working Man

So I haven’t posted on my blog for a while, partly because I’m lazy, partly because I wasn’t sure what to write about, but mostly because my last post was a hard act to follow. In fact, I was so impressed with my own wit and cleverness that I was downright afraid to post again for fear I’d simply prove to really be an idiot after all. But then something happened to me that I had just had to share with all of you, and so the spell was broken.

So you remember the job interview I had two weeks ago? The one where I saw all the weirdos? Well, I got the job. Yes, I called the Vatican and they confirmed that this is clearly a miracle (though not a very big one; they called it a Class Eight miracle, nothing on par with the parting of the Red Sea which was a Class Two or the raising of Lazarus which was a Class One). So anyway today was my first day at work. I am now employed at the Nestle/Stouffer plant in north Springville. I work with Quality Assurance there, and all the weirdos from the temp office waiting room work on the production line. They get to wear cool hair nets, I get to wear nice shirts. To each his own.

I won’t try to explain what exactly I do at my job. Its technical. Lets just say it involves lots of paper clips and staples, and about thirty microwave ovens. So far, after one day, it doesn’t seem too bad. I was told that I was being hired as a temp, and then later would be hired as a full-time employee of Nestle. I assumed this was so the powers at be there could get to know me and decide if they wanted me for the job. Now I’m beginning to be under the impression that its so that I can get a feel for the job and decide if I wanted to stick with it or run away screaming. Apparently they’ve had a few people choose the latter option. As I met people around the office today, I heard a lot of strange comments like, “Oh, you’re doing that job now…. Good luck. I feel for you.” This isn’t exactly what you want to hear on the first day, and yet nothing (so far) has been awful or even tedious; indeed, the eight hours flew past in blur. I was just fine with everything I did today, and there seemed to be a certain amount of pleasant surprise from my co-workers at this.

The fact is they are desperate for somebody to actually fill this position. They’ve gone through quite a few employees who just couldn’t handle it, and they are hoping that I will pull through. I have every intention on doing so. Mind-numbing paperwork? I love it. I spent the majority of my eight hours today sorting and filing papers and it was great. Work Saturdays? I’m all over that. Prepare a bazillion TV dinners all at once for a taste panel? That’s what I live for. I know that I’m the guy who gets all the crap nobody else wants to do, but in this case I don’t mind doing it at all. The real crappy job, in my opinion, would be working on the factory floor – standing in once place, doing the same thing over and over for ten hours. At least I get some variety, and I’m out the door by 4:00. And getting paid very well, for an English major with few practical skills.

All and all, I’ve nothing to complain about. Nestle, I’m your man.

Comments

Anonymous said…
YAH, YOU GOT A JOB!!!! DOES THIS MEAN YOU CAN PAY FOR YOUR OWN CAR? JUST KIDDING!! WELL. . . ACTUALLY NO, DOES IT?
Matt Haws said…
Actually, this post is very funny in retrospect since I quickly did learn to LOATHE that job almost to the point of losing all sense of personal happiness. Eventually, I moved on for good.

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