Bored with dull corporate nowhere jobs? Looking for excitement, a chance to travel, meet new people, and be part of a success-oriented and motivated team? Then you should consider an exciting career in anonymous henchmaning!
The recent boost in the evil villian market has left a huge demand for capable, detail-oriented, and above all totally obedient legions of henchman. This new opportunity can offer excitement and job fulfillment like no other industry. Common duties involve: setting up and running a complicated underground lair, patrolling sensitive areas in highly predictive patterns, half-heartedly guarding important prisoners, and assisting evil masterminds in their plots and eventual escapes.
If you are physically fit, combat-able, and utterly incapable of thinking for yourself, then anonymous henchman may be the right job for you. Our introductory packages include a three-month internship with a disreputable evil organization, followed by assignment to a cutting edge base of operations for a major villian. All expenses are paid, and all living arrangements are provided. And, for a limited time only, receive this complimentary tote bag as a sign-up bonus.
Benefits include full health and dental coverage, lots of down-time between plots, sick and vacation days, a generous 401k plan, and a possibility of advancement.
Employment with an evil organization requires complete anonymity, as a security precaution. Your identity – your name, personality, emotions, and memories – will be removed for the duration of your service. These will be returned to you upon completion of your tour-of-duty, if in fact you actually had any of them to begin with.
While unlikely, there are number of potential risks associated with the life of a henchman. These include, but are not limited to: being ambushed and stripped of clothing, killed for the amusement of bored supergeniuses, used as a test subject for a new evil device, destroyed in the self-destruction of evil base, chafed from ill-fitting uniforms, and, most commonly, shot down mercilessly by enemy agents who never miss and never think twice about taking your pathetic, anonymous life.
So what are you waiting for? Don't let this fascinating career opportunity pass you by! In three months, you could be working for a distinguished employer such as the Galactic Empire, Jabba the Hutt, Lex Luthor, the Joker, Goldfinger, Dr. No, Dr. Evil, Dr. Doom, Dr. Octopus, Microsoft, or Anne Coulter! Your friends will be so jealous when they hear about your work day. Nancy may have closed an important sales deal, but you helped hold the free world for ransom! Sign up today!!
The recent boost in the evil villian market has left a huge demand for capable, detail-oriented, and above all totally obedient legions of henchman. This new opportunity can offer excitement and job fulfillment like no other industry. Common duties involve: setting up and running a complicated underground lair, patrolling sensitive areas in highly predictive patterns, half-heartedly guarding important prisoners, and assisting evil masterminds in their plots and eventual escapes.
If you are physically fit, combat-able, and utterly incapable of thinking for yourself, then anonymous henchman may be the right job for you. Our introductory packages include a three-month internship with a disreputable evil organization, followed by assignment to a cutting edge base of operations for a major villian. All expenses are paid, and all living arrangements are provided. And, for a limited time only, receive this complimentary tote bag as a sign-up bonus.
Benefits include full health and dental coverage, lots of down-time between plots, sick and vacation days, a generous 401k plan, and a possibility of advancement.
Employment with an evil organization requires complete anonymity, as a security precaution. Your identity – your name, personality, emotions, and memories – will be removed for the duration of your service. These will be returned to you upon completion of your tour-of-duty, if in fact you actually had any of them to begin with.
While unlikely, there are number of potential risks associated with the life of a henchman. These include, but are not limited to: being ambushed and stripped of clothing, killed for the amusement of bored supergeniuses, used as a test subject for a new evil device, destroyed in the self-destruction of evil base, chafed from ill-fitting uniforms, and, most commonly, shot down mercilessly by enemy agents who never miss and never think twice about taking your pathetic, anonymous life.
So what are you waiting for? Don't let this fascinating career opportunity pass you by! In three months, you could be working for a distinguished employer such as the Galactic Empire, Jabba the Hutt, Lex Luthor, the Joker, Goldfinger, Dr. No, Dr. Evil, Dr. Doom, Dr. Octopus, Microsoft, or Anne Coulter! Your friends will be so jealous when they hear about your work day. Nancy may have closed an important sales deal, but you helped hold the free world for ransom! Sign up today!!
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Mom
PS what happened to the blog about your letter to the school, it has disappeared?