Deranged Ramblings

I know you like me. Ok, perhaps “like” is too strong of a word, but I clearly don't totally drive you crazy, or why would you keep coming back to read my blog? Seriously. Unless you are some kind of masochist or something. I think we can safely assume, then, that you like me, and so I won't feel bad about continuing to talk about myself. See, people often discuss things that they have in common, and this is what you and I have in common: we both like me. And if you are a regular reader of my blog, you probably wish you could know more about me. Well, today we are going to explore an aspect of my life which I usually keep completely hidden from everybody. For the first time ever, I'm going to pull back the lid and let it all hang loose, so to speak. Hold on to your seats, my friends, because we are going on a wild thrill ride through the depths of..... Matt's iPod! (cue dramatic music here). I decided to let you in on a bit of my eccentricity by putting my iPod on shuf

Every time I begin to think that I have grown sufficiently cynical and jaded to prevent any further heartbreak caused from the clash of high ideals with harsh reality, something invariably happens to prove me yet a romantic, quixotic fool with no real concept of life. At times like this I feel like disillusionment is to be my lot in life. I am fated to be continually disappointed by the world because I seem incapable of lowering my expectations. I feel like I always look for the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. The problem with people is that when you extend that much confidence and trust to everybody, you are bound to be let down very often. Perhaps I'm shallow, but I always assume that people are being genuine with me and that what they are saying is what they really think. I must be arrogant, too, because I can't fathom anybody disliking or disrespecting me. It really boils down to an incredulity that anybody, especially people I barely know at all, wo

Ever since starting full time work (or as I call it, killed slowly by capitalism), I've noticed that every other month or so (sometimes oftener if I really hate my job) I just need a day off. I'm not talking about Saturday and Sunday – those don't count! I mean I day where I should go to work but don't. I think this helps me feel like I'm not a total slave to the system and that I'm in control of my own life. This sense of empowerment is illusionary, but it really helps me get through the next two-months of tedium. It's been a rough week. There have been a variety of pressures at work that made it even less attractive than usual. Its not at all surprising, then, that yesterday when I woke up I decided that in an act of moral protestation I would boycott work. I may or may not have enough sick hours to cover a whole day of absence, but I do not care. There are principles at stake. I'm a man of principles and ideals, especially in regards to this issue (I

In keeping with my personal mission statement to "assist individuals in their quest for perfection and eternal life" I have decided to post an educational blog today. I'm going to present ten wonderfully descriptive and useful adjectives which you can actually use in conversation and writing! Any one of these illuminative words could really spice up your life. Give it a try! 1. affable - easy & pleasant to speak to; approachable. 2. chimerical - given to unrealistic fanatasies 3. dicombobulated - thrown into a state of confusion 4. facetious - playfully jocular, bantering, tongue-in-cheek 5. fictive - of, relating to, or able to engage in imaginative invention 6. garrulous - given to excessive and often trivial or rambling talk ; wordy 7. latitudinarian - holding or expressing broad or tolerant views 8. lugubrious - mournful, dismal, or gloomy to an exaggerated degree 9. prurient - inordinately interested in matters of sex 10. quixotic - caught up in the r

Well, the debate is over and the questions of my immediate future have at last been answered. I have been offered a spot in an MFA acting program and I have accepted it. It is done. I'm leaving. My future beckons. It's a three-year program that emphasizes in classical repretory acting (which means Shakespeare and the like for you non-theater people). The facilities and faculty seem top rate, and the third year includes a working internship with one of a number of prestigious professional theaters. All in all, it seems to be exactly what I was hoping for, with only one exception. It's in South Carolina. Where's that, you ask? Well, the easy answer is just below North Carolina, but I won't be that facile with you. It's a much more complex question than you think. What on earth am I, who have never lived east of the Mississippi river, going to do on the east coast deep in the heart of the old south? I don't know anything about this state! Before this year, I

I don't mention enough what great friends I've had in my life. I spent some time this weekend with a few of them. My friend Ben and I drove up to Salt Lake to watch Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story which turned out to be a pleasant experience all around. In addition to being extremely funny and a snappy dresser, Ben is always good for some old-fashioned erudite conversation. Our topics of discussion range from science fiction novels to theater and art, from nerdy games to thoughtful social criticism. We enjoyed the film immensely. I love going to the Broadway theater in SLC because the audience always seems to be very engaged in whats going on. There was a lot of hearty laughter all around us at the wacky, rather dry humor of the movie, and that really added to the experience. Afterwards, we felt like going someplace nice-ish to eat, so we drove around downtown Salt Lake looking for culinary options. He nearly embarassed me to death when we pulled up along side two girl

Due to an incredible stroke of good luck on my part, I get to do Hamlet again every Tuesday for the next couple of months! I'm very excited about this, as I found that I missed the experience much more than I thought I would. For historical interest, I have decided to post a number of pictures from last semester, courtesy of Fallon. This way I'll have an easy place to look back and remember... Here we have the whole cast in the van, singing along to "All I Want For Christmas Is You." From left to right: Chris Clark (Claudius/Ghost) Spencer Green (Laertes/Player) Matt Haws (Hamlet) David St. Julian (Horatio/Player) Laura Sorensen (Queen Gertrude) Debra Moses (Polonia/Gravedigger) Our patient Stage Manager, Becky! And Fallon (Ophelia) Most of the cast in costume at the start of the show. Chris Clark as the Ghost of Hamlet's father. How on earth am I supposed to take this spirit seriously?? Hamlet and Gertrude Fallon scaring the crap out of some little kid with her

I feel as though I'm coming off a funk I've been in lately. The last week or so I've been up and down, though mostly down. I've had this sore throat and runny nose and gunk for over a week now and though it hasn't really been bad enough to interfere too much in my life its certainly been annoying. Plus there's been a lot to think about, a lot of unexpected changes coming my way and I'm not at all sure how to handle them. Plus the Oscars were pretty depressing. But mostly I found myself regressing into uncertainty and doubt and fear and shame, which were once my constant companions and who I have only begun recently to live without. At times fear clenched my heart and drained me of all my power, like some kind of kryptonite. I felt apathetic and pessimistic. I was overwhelmed by the odds. I wanted to give up on everything. No more. Today I feel full of energy and drive, like I can do anything. Once again I remember the choices I made long ago not to meddle

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