tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-130038102024-03-12T18:59:43.584-06:00Deranged RamblingsDeranged = Upset, Disturbed, Insane. :
Rambling = To speak or write at length and with many digressions. :
Deranged Rambling = A mostly defunct product of the mind of a 30-something year old American man living in a material world.Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.comBlogger180125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-72465600885372717212017-02-11T13:10:00.005-07:002017-02-11T13:17:12.658-07:00My Two Cents: Is It Okay To Punch a Nazi?It says something about the times we live in that this question has come up at all.
Is it okay to punch a nazi? Is it a morally permissible act to commit violence against somebody expressing even the most objectionable opinions?
I believe nazi is the perfect word to describe the sort of people I am talking about here. But let's call them what you will: alt-right white nationalists, fascists, Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-76611649207185792512017-01-16T12:37:00.002-07:002017-08-02T11:44:05.475-06:00Rogue One: A Star Wars Story? The release of Rogue One has caused a sharp rift through the Star Wars fans, certainly through the small community of Star Wars fans with whom I am most directly connected. For some, this is one of the best Star Wars films ever, in the ranks with the original trilogy (or at least very close to it), and for others it was sort of a boring mess. Thus, to an even greater extent than The Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-81415861120101700072016-11-23T08:57:00.002-07:002016-11-30T15:00:23.399-07:00How Mormonism Made Me A Lefty
** All quotes from the Bible in this essay come from the King James Version, the translation favored by Mormons and thus the version with which I am most familiar. Also, as an English major and lover of Shakespeare, I have to say from a literary point of view it’s just prettier than more modern translations. That's the first of many of my opinions that you are about to read.
Introduction: Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-33431044048541613902015-08-23T14:40:00.000-06:002015-08-24T07:49:01.703-06:00OMG 8 Disney Princesses Re-imagined as Guys Named Steve!!
8 Disney Princesses Re-imagined as Guys Named Steve
You won't believe #6!!
ZOMG you guys this is so cool! Some guy on the internet re-imagined all your favorite Disney princesses as guys named Steve, and the results are amazing!!! You'll never look at Disney princesses the same way again!
#1 - CINDERELLA
Cinderella was a Disney princess from the Disney movie "Cinderella,Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-19484614031450323552013-08-23T12:02:00.000-06:002013-08-23T12:02:06.648-06:00A Midsummer's Horrific Dream
A waking dream that I’ve probably also had while asleep at some point or, if not, that I probably will.
I stand on the banks of the river Styx, which I recognize immediately from the poetry which, for once, proves factually and not just metaphorically accurate. The water of the river is so black that it’s almost not even water at all, but the darkness of space, the void between the stars. Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-30610370012621745972013-06-10T08:00:00.001-06:002013-06-10T08:01:31.707-06:00Open Letter to Russell ToveyDear Russell Tovey,
Ok, we need to talk. I think you know why. While it's always nice of you to drop by for a cameo in one of my dreams, I think showing up in every single one of them last night was a little excessive. True, I went to bed feeling quite sick from a migraine and woke up feeling much better, so I suppose you could argue your presence had a salutary effect on my health, but still Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-82686463229614804322013-05-12T07:34:00.000-06:002013-05-12T07:34:45.103-06:00Overdue Mother's Day StoryIt's Mother's Day and once again I find myself in the position of the selfish son who can't think of anything to get mom to show her how much she means to me. True, the whole idea of commercial holidays still irritates me. How is a bunch of over-priced flowers supposed to really show appreciation to somebody to whom I owe literally everything that I am and everything that I have? It's too much. Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-34191133044191235382012-12-17T07:39:00.003-07:002012-12-17T07:39:28.116-07:00An Inspiring StoryIt's been a rough week, with our headlines flooded with tragedies and heartbreak, tales of death and disease. I'm already dealing with all the depression that comes with winter, and so all this was just about to make me fall apart. So in the interest of clinging to positivity, I wanted to share the most inspiring and heart-warming thing I heard this week.
I work with teens now, many of who are Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-14038328578716420262012-07-31T08:11:00.002-06:002012-07-31T08:20:20.832-06:00No Less Awkward at 31In the tradition of embarrassing stories I once published regularly on this blog, I submit a recent experience which ultimately proved that I am no less awkward and bumbling now that I have left my 20s. I suppose that I expected 30 would bring with it some greater feeling of adequacy or self-respect, a feeling of being a capable adult. I am happy to report that no such alterations to my Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-4992736543096594752012-03-22T10:03:00.005-06:002012-03-24T14:42:41.985-06:00Matt's Theory about StorytellingLet me get one thing clear first off: yes, I have read the Hunger Games. And yes, I got some enjoyment out of reading them too. I would never try to deny that. But with the imminent release of the movies, a lot of people are talking about them and there's a lot of crazy superlative going around. The word “amazing” gets thrown around a lot. Amazing, really? You are AMAZED at the Hunger Games? I Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-5138266958248795162011-08-16T08:48:00.003-06:002011-08-16T09:41:56.058-06:00A Survey I Filled Out TodayEvery now and then I get e-mailed a random survey to fill out, which usually takes only a few minutes. The one I got today wanted me to actually write something down in answer to almost every question, which I thought was annoying. I was having a bad day at work too. So here's what they got:
We are interested in your feedback on an innovative new product.
Introducing PERFECT MEATLOAF - Tender, Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-23222470177261785552011-06-19T09:29:00.004-06:002011-06-19T09:43:43.891-06:00No Games For Matt: Day Twenty-FiveSo I'm nearing the end of this little experiment and I have learned a few things!First, quitting video games was surprisingly easy. I always used to say "I can quit any time I want!" which sounded hauntingly like an addict's cliche. But it turned out to be true. Perhaps my addiction was not as bad as I feared - and learning that, if nothing else, was a great result from this experiment!Second, Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-73817449152810969092011-06-06T19:44:00.004-06:002011-06-07T11:04:13.409-06:00No Games For Matt: Day TwelveIt's been a week fraught with emotions. I've felt like an unhinged person, all over the place. One minute I'm happier than I've ever been before, and the next I'm full of angst and crying over nothing.It took a while before I connected this behavior to my lack of video games this month. It's almost like playing games was the thing that allowed me to hide from stuff, to self-medicate into a state Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-48604717305351447802011-06-01T15:10:00.002-06:002011-06-01T16:05:14.824-06:00No Games For Matt: Day SixI had my first dream about video games last night.Quite revealingly, in the dream I had a vague sense of uneasiness and guilt about playing and kept saying "Just a few more minutes!" to some companion whose face I do not now remember. I woke up and laughed, but felt a little uneasy. My resolve has still been strong, but there has been some temptation, usually in a quiet moment when I'm not sure Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-73520962564552828422011-05-28T17:55:00.003-06:002011-05-29T12:05:23.844-06:00No Games For Matt: Days One through ThreeMy name is Matt. I am thirty years old, and I am a video game addict.To be fair, I doubt I currently play games more often than the average American watches TV and movies, and certainly there have been many times in my life when I was playing even more than I am now. But that doesn't change the fact that what I always thought of as an entertaining pastime and a fun hobby has actually been Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-37870444163955713492010-05-18T08:12:00.004-06:002010-05-18T08:36:10.953-06:00A Conversation I Just Had That Could Almost Be a Monty Python SketchUpper West Side Mom: I would like to schedule a make-up class for my son.Me: Ok, great! Is there any particular day or time that would work best for you?UWS Mom: Oh, anytime really. Me: Ok, let me look at our schedule. How about tomorrow afternoon at 4:00pm?UWS Mom: No, Wednesday's don't work. Me: Huh. Okay.... It looks like there's a Friday at 12:45pm.UWS Mom: Actually it really needs to be in Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-10124177791241065522010-05-13T12:58:00.003-06:002010-05-13T14:07:38.653-06:00The Death of InnocenceI have the unique opportunity to observe innocence every day. It appears to me in the form of wide-eyed and playful three and four year olds prancing around my office having fun. Sometimes they just sing softly to themselves, lost in their own fantasy world. Sometimes they explode into what, if replicated by an adult, would appear to be a psychotic breakdown. All of this is for the most part Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-62907297015273554432010-05-11T15:15:00.000-06:002010-05-11T15:16:02.321-06:00Birthday MeditationGiven that my very first blog post ever (recently discovered by archeologists and dated circa 2005) was a reflection on my 24th birthday, it seems somehow appropriate that I return to the blog briefly to record my thoughts about having survived yet another year. Today I am 29, which sounds like a respectable, mature age in which one can really be taken seriously as a proper adult who has his act Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-7198938920541342342009-12-03T14:14:00.002-07:002009-12-03T14:38:18.379-07:00Men and EscapismI’m no child psychologist, but I do work in an office where an endless string of kids parade in and out, allowing me ample opportunity to observe behavior. We also have a big TV here playing cartoons half the day, which gives me a chance to glimpse commercials for children’s toys. I’m noticing a particular trend, which may be obvious but I’m only now really beginning to appreciate.There is a Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-82551418010912651002009-11-05T15:32:00.002-07:002009-11-05T15:36:46.897-07:00The Ugly PrincessOnce upon a time there lived a little princess who was very beautiful. She was so gentle and kind and gracious that she almost glowed. Everyone who saw her smiled and felt happier, and almost everybody loved her. The people of the kingdom loved her. The men and women who worked in the castle loved her. The knights and the soldiers and even the visitors from far away lands loved her. The king, herMatt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-43634310714232876452009-11-02T12:41:00.005-07:002009-11-02T12:59:10.186-07:00The Little Boy Who WanderedOnce upon a time there was a little boy who loved to wander. He would wander over the hills beyond the edge of the town, past the fields where the farmers were sweating under the sun, right to the edge of the mysterious forest. The little boy loved the sight of the forest, so green and dark. There were many adventures in there, the boy thought. There was magic and love and glory. He would walk Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-16690942691822183032009-03-02T16:23:00.005-07:002009-03-02T17:12:18.798-07:00So Say We All....The other day somebody suggested that the role of art during difficult times such as these is simply to be entertaining. During a recession, people don't want to consider weighty or grave matters, or to be confronted with intellectually or ethically challenging questions. They just want see a happy story with singing and dancing and forget about their troubles for a while. I understand where thisMatt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-73489841653209682522009-02-25T16:00:00.002-07:002009-02-25T16:04:36.163-07:00Oscar Wilde was the man!"An aesthetic education, which humanizes people, is far more important even for politicians than an economic education, which does the opposite."--From "The English Renaissance of Art"Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-63632155376236654562009-02-19T21:19:00.002-07:002009-02-19T21:45:12.847-07:00The Blog is REBORN! .... AGAIN!I always knew I'd be back one day, blog. I know I've been unfaithful to you, spending my time and energy on whatever mindless pursuits came my way, but deep down I knew that you were the only love for me. And so here I am. Begging you to take me back.I promise to post on you more often. I promise to make those posts interesting, passionate, relevant. I promise to make you readable again. Can you Matt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13003810.post-46481599434113732012008-07-22T14:17:00.002-06:002008-07-22T14:18:56.551-06:00A Little Study in AnarchyA short but violent storm hit here yesterday, and while I was largely unaware of it in my dark little cubicle, it wreaked a bit of carnage outside. On the way home from work, I came to a very busy intersection of two major roads where the traffic lights had very recently gone out and there was not yet an officer on the scene to impose order. Behind my anxiety and eager desire to get home, I foundMatt Hawshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01356462890308945805noreply@blogger.com1